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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Sometimes I think God goes all the way to test me. It seems as if I wasn't allowed a reprieve from misery. Since young I was always troubled by one thing or another...starting from a life-threatening heart problem to my parents' divorce to my unhappy childhood (did I ever had a childhood? I don't think so) to my supressed teeange years (why supressed? because I wasn't permitted to enjoy my youth) to my own divorce to my lousy love life to my damn family neverending crisis to my current life.

Why me? Why always me? Don't I deserve happiness? I'll be lying if I said I don't have any. I do but not for long.

I have to be strong because Ash no longer is. I used to lean on him for optimism but now I have to be the supporting pillar. I got nowhere else to turn to except my stupid blog. And blogs don't talk back or give me encouragement to live on, do they?

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, December 07, 2005

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