ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

I knew about your past. You told me at the beginning. It was hard to swallow but I’m slowly accepting it. To have someone else confirming it and revealing much more, that was so painful. My heart felt so much pain I could almost feel it breaking into countless pieces. I didn’t know how I could have appeared to be calm when inside only god knows what I felt. I wanted so very much to confront you but it will only cause us misery. I wish you had told me all of it when you told me then. I can’t close my eyes without seeing you and her. You are mine; no other female can have you except me. Hinting to you yesterday had made you all worked up, confronting you will just result in a major row. I love you too much and it hurts me just as much now. What you didn’t tell me, I see that as dishonesty, another form of betrayal and I can never tolerate both. I’ve been clinging on to you. I felt threatened and cheated at the same time. How could I make u understand when my emotions are in turmoil? Maybe part of the reason you didn’t tell me was because you know I’ll react this way. Ignorance is bliss. I shouldn’t know about it at all. I don’t want to about no more. A friend said I should think positively. I tried but it’s hard. I know you love me. With her it was lust. I hate her for having a part of you that should have been mine.

i'm watching you...
Sunday, April 24, 2005

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