ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Bla bla bla bla bla.

I have just been blog hopping and I found out that some people can yak for hours about their boring monotonous life every time they are online. Have you ever had to say to yourself "oh shut the fuck up already!" when these people narrate their daily routine starting from the early waking hours right until they go to sleep? I mean who cares what you do at 8:30 in the morning on Saturday? Or what you ate for lunch a week ago? I don't...not really...unless I was there eating with you and you were giving me a treat.

Why didn't they blog about the greatest orgasm they ever had? Or about that cute guy next door? Or about deaths? Or even mental meltdown? Do they have to blog about every single thing they did in a day? That is soooooo boring. I think even Ash is a better bitch than all of them combined.

Anyway this week has been a lousy week for me. I am officially out of my parents' house. Yeah my mother's son, that little angelic bastard, had finally smsed me, asking me to take my stuff out of the house. That was cool. I ain't coming back home anyway. I am taking my stuff away...my computer, my clothes...that's it. I'm not taking that bed and wardrobe. I didn't bought them with my money.

I seem cool now but I wasn't 2 days ago. I was a mess. I went home crying in a cab. Not my fault that. Hearing my own mother said something like me and her we don't have anything between us...that hurt. How was I supposed to act to that remark? If it wasn't for Ash...I don't know if I could still be here typing this.

Aku bukan nak ungkit-bangkit but after all that I had done for the family, am I being pushed aside just like that? All the tears, the heartaches, the headaches...all that came back to me. All a fucking waste. Dengan senang je aku kena bilis. It's like I don't exist anymore. You know mak...you might as well abort me then so I don't have to go through all this pain that your words had done to me.

I tried so hard to convince myself that everything that happened happen for a reason that for now I just can't see the logic. Everytime I was confident enough to face the world, somebody from my family take me down into the deep hole of darkness which I then had to struggle real hard to get out from.

Nak ngeluh panjang-panjang pun tak guna. I have often been the unlucky one in the family. Once Ash get our new house, we are going to start our new life with home renovations, wedding plans.

And talking about wedding, what do you know...I just heard the news yesterday that my ex husband, another bastard I used to know, is getting married on the 13th March with a 19-year-old DKK girl. How about that? And here I thought no woman is crazier than me to want to get herself shackled to that idiot. I was so wrong. Poor girl...heheh. I hope you know what you are getting into.

And Jewel thanks for all that bitching sessions you have shared with me. I had forgotten how to interact with my own kind.

i'm watching you...
Thursday, February 03, 2005

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