I never say anything to you about agreeing to allow you to give any cash to your brother like you claimed I did. I would never agree to that. Why should you help out somebody who you said give you problems since the day he move in with you? Why should you care for someone who blame your mother for everything bad that happened in his life? Why should you bother with someone who would rather listen to every fucking thing his wife he has known for about a year than someone who had given birth to him?
And because of that same person you refused to talk to me, you smoked, you left me in our room in the dark all by myself? Since the day I met you, I have never abandoned you in that way ever. But you did that several times. And it hurts that after all that we have been through, I still came second.
Yes, I know he is your flesh and blood but did you ever stop to remind yourself of all that he did to you and your mother? Yes maybe I am being selfish but this time round I had to speak out for your sake. I told you compassion doesn't have to be in you when he is concerned. Makin lemak lah dia knowing that he has someone who can be his ATM machine. Sure this time dia cuma mintak $5. What about the next time? Don't give him the feeling that he can always call you to ask for money whenever and whenever he wants it. Dia dah tua, dah nak masuk 40. He's longer a kid that needs to be spoonfed.
You know I love you. Why you think I cried so hard and for so long last night? I don't want to argue with you about family because no matter what they are still your family. The same goes with me. I have been biting my tongue trying not to say things that I'm unhappy about your family. Firstly I don't have the right to do so...yet. And for another thing, I don't want to hurt your feelings. I know myself. I'll say something nasty when I get angry.
Think about it ok darling? It's all for you I get mad last night.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
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