Why am I angry? I was watching the news about the Singapore Idol on Channel i. I didn't know Taufik is studying at the Singapore Poly. His friends were in town to help promote him and urging people to vote for him. Just like an election campaign. Anyway this one bitch said she will still vote for Slyvester because she thought he got the looks and the talent...and the one statement that makes my blood boil is because Sly can sing Chinese. So what the fucking hell does that go to do with talent? I am not being a racist but I believe Taufik can sing Chinese if he wants to. I mean lots and lots of non-Chinese is learning the language anyway. So what's the fucking big deal if Sly could sing in Chinese?
It's people like this yang buat bangsa lain tak boleh hidup. Come on...open up your mind just a bit. No big deal lah nabey. It's because companies keep asking for people who can speak Mandarin that those that can't cannot find jobs even though they are qualified for it.
Back to the Singapore Idol...I was really expecting Taufik to square off with Olinda. Both are good, have great voices and I think enough showmanship to wow the audience. I was shocked that Olinda was voted out. Voters are tone deaf? Even if they are couldn't they see who has the talent and who has not? Glenn Ong was right when he said that we should vote someone because of their talent and not because of who has got the biggest fan base.
Ni Ah Lian and Ah Huays yang vote untuk Sly ni really should be banned from voting at all. Sure Sly is cute and adorable. I thought so when I first saw him but he really doesn't have that much talent. Even Leandra got a better voice.
I am not being racist. I am definitely not voting for Sly and is not because I'm against his colour or his race or his language or whatever. I am not voting for Sly because he can only sing rock songs...and Chinese and his vocal range is limited to just that. I am voting for Taufik because he has the voice, the talent, the X-factor to be an idol. Like Glenn said on his card during the Singapore Idol trailers "vote for Taufik or die...!"
i'm watching you...
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Sunday, November 28, 2004
___________________________________________
I tried not to take too many pills. It won't have effect. Radiation from handphone? Computer? My head just keeps on hurting like mad.
i just need someone to push me over the edge.
i'm watching you...
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Saturday, November 27, 2004
___________________________________________
Am watching them both on central...2 of my favourite cartoon characters
i'm watching you...
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
___________________________________________
I didn't get to work today. Bingit dengan member keje si Kak Zah tu. Semalam satu hari tak nak bual dengan aku. Just because I didn't call her and ask why she didn't come in to work the day before. Having a fussy mother is already grating on my nerves. Having a colleague acting your mother is even worse. I assume she had something on at home sebab tu tak datang keje. Usually she would call me in the morning if she was taking the day off. When I talked to her yesterday morning, she didn't respond and I thought she was in a foul mood which might get better later. She was obviously ignoring me. Berbual dengan Kak Ana...aku kat depan mata dia dia buat tak nampak je. I never ever did that to her no matter how mad I was at her. Aku macam nak nangis pun ada tapi aku menten. I was stuffing my mouth with food when in actual fact I lost my appetite. Later Kak Ana told me what she said. I could feel my ears turning red..almost warm. When I'm angry, my blood literally go upstairs heheh. Nevermind. I smsed her after work. I explained. I apologised. I gave in to her. Because I'm way younger than her, I admit I was wrong. I don't want to drag the matter too long. It was just a small thing. Lagi pun we'll be seeing each other everyday for the next few years. So no point lah tayang long face kan?
I overslept again this morning. I realised now that I couldn't wake up just like that in sudden motion. My head is aching now. No wonder I always like to golek-golek atas katil bila dah sadar eh.
i'm watching you...
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
___________________________________________
7 people from work came, 3 chat friends, 2 of Ash's friends. The funny thing was that the people from my workplace who came were all the younger girls. The aunties were not present. I wonder why.
There is still some food left. Bringing them all to work. Not good to be wasteful.
One of chat friends helped me cleared of the junk on the pc. I had complained to him the speed was slow and I'm not the patient type to wait while it processed my orders. Seems a bit faster now.
Any plans for New Year's eve?
i'm watching you...
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Sunday, November 21, 2004
___________________________________________
To email or not to email..that is the question. You know what? I will just let it be. I don't think I have to email you to know anything about your life. I always seem to be the last to know anyway. Yes, start a new chapter...get on with your life...or some other shit you want to say to justify your actions.
Thank you for making me realise what a fool I have been all this while. Don't come running to me when you're in trouble because I won't be a patiently listening friend to you anymore. And don't worry. I haven't forgotten what I owe you. Have a nice life..with your new chapter, new friends...and the same old you.
i'm watching you...
Friday, November 19, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
___________________________________________
[Intro]
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... Black!
[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!
(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!
[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!
Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".
[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!
(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]
A fun song for women with big butts.
My Hari Raya weekend was not good. The eve was one of the most depressing day of my life. With my mom's temper and me thinking about him, it was not good. I was staying overnight at her place but I practically begged Ash to let me go home to him. Ash being Ash persuaded me to stay and promised me he would come the next day to bring me out. That wasn't easy because Mum was sulking that I wanted to go but I told her for 2 years I had been stuck at home. I have yet to meet his side of the family. They didn't even recognise me. How bad was that? She actually wanted me home that night but I didn't promise her. It was hell being there for a night. Another night in her presence? I don't think so.
Oh by the way, I'm organising an open house thingy at Ash's place..My place. It'll be like the last time we are organising anything. We are moving out next month due to some erkkk family dissatisfaction. Anyway about the open house, I invited my colleagues (of course...I love them lots) and a few friends on my phone book. If I didn't sms you, it's either I don't have your number or...I assume you would be too busy to come. You always do so I'm saving my energy by not inviting. Boleh gitu? Heheh. Ahhh kalau nak datang...just come. You know where I live. If not...
In case you are wondering what the hell I'm doing blogging on a working day today, it's because I woke up late this morning. I forgot to set the alarm. But I am going in later...Actually aku nak gi siap-siap lah sekarang ni. Hasta la vista baby!
i'm watching you...
Friday, November 19, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
___________________________________________
Anyway...
A friend messaged me on YM. She is a nuisance...really. She used an unfamiliar nickname online. And she typed my name in the chatroom I was in. I thought she was an old pal. Apparently I was wrong. I asked her about her pregnancy. The last time I heard from her she told me she was. She aborted the foetus and called her boyfriend the vilest name she could find in her swearing book which I think is very very very thin. She kept calling him sial *yawn*.
Of course lah I scolded her. I already told her at the beginning when she first confide in me to dump his sorry ass. As usual, when men are concerned, women's faith in their partners are unshakeably strong. Until the men fak up real bad.
I told her she deserves a much better man...someone who won't reprimand her rudely in front of her friends, someone who won't fak her and then leave her to handle situation he helped caused by herself, someone who won't fool around behind her back, someone who loves her. But did she listen? Of course not. So sekarang, padan muka!
She can go on and on about her bastard boyfriend for hours and hours. I was awilling listener...at first...but if the things she said were the same thing over and over again...bluwekkkk. Boring!
She sms me last night asking me for some girl's number, claiming that that person was spreading rumours. Whatever lah girlfriend. I am so sick to be involved with something that doesn't concerned me.
i'm watching you...
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Saturday, November 13, 2004
___________________________________________
Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll put all other things aside
Give in this time and show me some affection
We're going for those pleasures in the night
I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go
Chorus:
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
We shouldn't even think about tomorrow
Sweet memories will last a long, long time
We'll have a good time, baby, don't worry
And if we're still playing around, boy, that's just fine
I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go
Chorus 2:
Let's get excited 'cause we just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go
Chorus:
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
Chorus:
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
Chorus:
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
How so appropriate a song for me today.
i'm watching you...
Friday, November 12, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
___________________________________________
Came back from shopping an hour ago. I think we spend more than we should. In the end Ash decided not to buy baju Melayu(literally means Malay shirt...it's actually a Malay traditional dress for men). I begged and pleaded with him to buy one...no matter how cheap just so we could match on the first day of Hari Raya but he firmly said no. He gave some bluwekkk reasons but I know he wanted all of us to be happy and sacrifice his in the process. How can I not love you? How I can even think about leaving you? When you always put the rest of us above your needs..though not in the order that I like. No shoes for me. I still got that pair I bought erkkk 2-3 years back heheh. I like that high heels actually.
Camelia got herself 2 baju kurong and new shoes. My mother outlaw bought herself everyday footwear. I bought myself my own baju kurong and Indian-looking bangles that I thought I would wear. Too flashy for daily use. Maybe I wear the other plain ones. Look much cooler. Have to remind myself to buy a nice brooch. My baju kurong is kinda loose at the waist so pin a brooch somewhere behind it'll be alright. Ash just bought himself a pair of sandals because his current ones are torn, poor baby. It's going to be a better year next year.
Someone has decided and confirmed to buy the house. YEAHHHH!!! We are moving out soon but how soon I don't know. I'm not sure about the price but it's about $170k with 2k in advance. Nope Ash is not loaded now. The buyer gave him just $200 today. Still have to pay Mak Chu the house agent who tirelessly brought potential buyers home.
It is going to be a tough end of the year for all of us. All the packing, the moving, lots of sweat and pain involved. Ash and his mother confused me too much with their plans. Registering for marriage, applying for a house via HDB, applying for the same reason via Mak Chu, applying using my name, applying using his mum's...tskkkk confusing me so much I got a beladi headache.
His mom wanted us to be married at ROMM and I veto her. I wanted to be married at home...like my first marriage. He wanted a nikah AND a sanding event but I just wanted to do it all at one go. He wanted to make it a small affair with close relatives. I wanted to invite his relatives and mine all. This is gonna need money and I ain't got enough heheh. Need to think this through first.
And now it's bedtime.
I'm dreading Saturday because I had to be back in hell...once again. Aiyahhhh!!!!
i'm watching you...
Friday, November 12, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
___________________________________________
For once for a moment why didn't you hug me close and say you love me...that you appreciate me being there for you when you are in need...just tell me things I needed to hear. But no...everybody else comes first. I'm made to feel useless.
Insane jealousy consume. And I can't tell you. Because you would say I'm crazy. Yeah I am...I'm sick in the head. I'm a psycho. I don't even know myself..how can I explain myself to you?
But I think you know. You are so intuitive sometimes. I don't even have to say the words and yet you know. But moments like these...I'm lost...and alone...and terribly lonely.
If I can't get attention from you, don't blame me if I go and find it elsewhere.
i'm watching you...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
___________________________________________
People born under the sign of Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They are hardworking and consequently often financially wealthy. And are likely to be perfectionists. Rat people are easily angered and love to gossip. Their ambitions are big, and they are usually very successful. The Mouse is very social and has many friends who he supports in generous ways. The family is important; a Mouse is loyal to his family and will fight for it if needed.They are most compatible with people born in the years of the Dragon, Monkey, and Ox.
i'm watching you...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
___________________________________________
There was a James dean movie on Cinemax tadi. Rebel Without a Cause. Thus his pic. He was cute when he didn't do much smiling. It is such a waste when somebody as talented as him had to go away in the tragic way he did.
Ash is snoring away when I needed some action. Maybe he knows that sebab tu dia gi membuta. Nabey lah pa! Ahhh well..maybe masturbation is the way to go now heheh.
i'm watching you...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
___________________________________________
isn't he cute? even better looking than the voice behind the character (which is antonia banderas)
i'm watching you...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
___________________________________________
The 1950s Icon
i'm watching you...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
___________________________________________
As I sit in this smokey room
The night about to end
I pass my time with strangers
But this bottle's my only friend
Remember when we used to park
On Butler Street out in the dark
Remember when we lost the keys
And you lost more than that in my backseat
Remember when we used to talk
About busting out - we'd break their hearts
Together - forever
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin' on - we got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye
Remember days of skipping school
Racing cars and being cool
With a six pack and the radio
We didn't need no place to go
Remember at the prom that night
You and me we had a fight
But the band they played our favorite song
And I held you in my arms so strong
We danced so close
We danced so slow
And I swore I'd never let you go
Together - forever
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin' on - we got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye
I guess you'd say we used to talk
About busting out
We'd break their hearts
Together - forever
I love this song though bila aku nyanyi aku hentam je lirik lagu dia heheh. I was into Bon Jovi when I was 16-17. Jon Bon Jovi was the epitome of mat rok then with his dark blondish mane and tight pants. And having a pretty face helps a lot. Aizzzzzz how time flies. After that in the early 90s I was into Gun n Roses. I had this huge fanatic crush on Axl Rose so much so that when I started to chat at Yahoo! I used the nickname Axlia. Then I went crazy over Nirvana after I heard Smells Like Teen Spirit - anthem for teens all over the world. I thought at that time they were cool with their dirty grungy look. And now? I'm not into any bands...just songs.
How would you react if someone you know from th epast called you nasty names behind your back? I just got to know that from a reliable source. Asshole am I? Do you know me well enough to give me such petname? I had already forgotten about your existence. Whatever problems you have it is not with me. I am not the one who used to date your guy kan. Get on with our lives you said when apparently you are the one who got stuck in the past. The funny thing is I am not angered...just bored. You don't mean anything to me anymore so why should I care?
In fact kan as I thought about it more, I am giving up all close contact with girls. I am hopeless with girlie relationships even since aku tau berkawan. Wanna talk to me fine...I'm all ears but I am not going to confide my secrets to any pepeks. I am going to surround myself with boys, guys and men even thoughsome are proven shitheads who got nothing else in their minds except sex heheh.
Talking about guys, I wonder, not for the first time, whatever happen to Haritz? I hope he's ok wherever he is niw. He is often on my mind because I like him.And I haven't lay my eyes on him yet. He is like the first male buddy I ever had. I can flirt with him, throw outrageous tantrums, be silly, give him the cold shoulder and he won't judge me. He likes me for being me. Mana nak gi cari memberz camni oiiii??!! If anyone kenal Haritz...Chinese Muslim guy who lives somewhere kat Taman Jurong, who I think is either in the army or police, please inform him I miss him...a lot.
i'm watching you...
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
___________________________________________
Aniway I noticed this dark-skinned and very skinny girl. I remembered her so vivdly because she was skinnier than me and I was bones and skin then heheh. She was of Indian descent. I heard someone said she is the daughter of the late Hamid Bond who while he was alive, was a famous filmstar doing comedies. I never did have a chance to talk to her because I was in the Arts stream while she in commerce (now better known as accounting class). As soon as we got our results, we went our separate ways. Who would have thought that I would meet her again? I did exactly that 13 years later when I visited Ash's sister for her stamp of approval...of me. I was dating Ash for a few months. You guess it. That dark-skinned, skinny girl was Ash's only sister, his youngest sibling...soon to be my sister outlaw. It's a small world. Ain't it?
Ash never did like the fact that he got a famous father get around. The younger generation won't recognise the name anyway but the parents like my mum would know. Too bad I didn't get to meet the man.
i'm watching you...
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
___________________________________________
Met some interesting characters online. 2 were outstandingly prominent but both are kotais heheh. One was ok, the other was *sigh* acting like my boyfriend. He claimed he was part English on his mother's side (or is it his father? I can't remember. Nak kena tanya dia lagi) but I have yet to see his picture. Anyway I have fun with him. I forgot how fun it was to have a boyfriend online chatting with you like that.
Since I have been gone, here goes...
Mum called the day after my birthday. You know how phobic I get whenever she did that. She wished me a hepi besdey and wished me success in my life. Praying that I get more money is good also tau Mum heheh. She wanted to call me on the day itself but she feel asleep. I told her it was ok. Better late than never at all kan?
On the same day aku menyampah siak dengan satu kakak at my workplace. Aku dengan Kak Zah panggil dia lembut. Kadang-kadang we call her Doraemon because of the sound of her voice. She often irritates me with her behaviour but she doesn't know it. Aku pun manja jugak but aku tak kuasa nak gi rengek-rengek dengan pompan. Buat pe siak? Aku bukan lesbian. Aku betul rasa macam nak lempang je. Nak manja macam gitu baik buat kat skendel ke laki ke but not with me. Meluat banget! Aku mana suka pompan camni. They only magnifies the fact that I ain't got much feminity in me. Maybe dengan Ash aku ada mentel-mentel sikit...and those other with dicks but with pussies, no way.
While listening to some jazz music on Class 95 my thoughts turned to memories of ex boyfriends and old friends who disappear without a trace. I often have these flashbacks to times when I was surrounded friends and "friends". What happen to you guys? Are you ok out there in the world.I would love to meet you all somewhere and have a blasting good time with you like we used toWhat happen to it all? Why did we all drift apart? We used to be so close like siblings. Why did it have to end this way? Could we be friends again. I miss you all.
i'm watching you...
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
___________________________________________
Scorpio & Aquarius
When Scorpio and Aquarius make a love match, it is a fusion of two very different life philosophies and many very different needs. There is much chance for friction here. Where Scorpio faces their inner emotional world directly and with an intense energy, thinking deeply about the more hidden undercurrents of life, Aquarius takes that same sort of energy and turns it outward. With their unusual, idealistic and, above all else, very social outlook on life, Aquarius seems an odd choice for the more introverted Scorpio. Aquarius needs a crowd to feel stimulated, and they're always looking around the room for the next interesting person to get to know. Scorpio, on the other hand, desires engaging, probing and very intimate time with their romantic mates. This pair may seem to have very little in common, but they both have such strong wills that, when focused on their relationship, can get them what they need and want.
Both Scorpio and Aquarius can be uncooperative and opinionated: They like things to go their way, no questions asked! For this love match, though, 'their ways' are very dissimilar. Scorpio is inquisitive, digging deeply into the hidden meaning of things, always asking questions and wanting to know where things are going and why. Aquarius is progressive and affable yet does not enjoy detail. Scorpio may be enticed by their differences, as Aquarius shows them new, exterior worlds but may end up frustrated trying to get answers from this eccentric enigma. Aquarius does not welcome possessiveness, either, preferring to belong to the world rather than one single person. But a stinging Scorpion can be fiercely possessive, and they require more attention than an Aquarian might be able to give. If Aquarius slows down and pays attention, they may find the devotion Scorpio provides to be a great support.
The Planets Mars and Pluto rule Scorpio, and the Planets Saturn and Uranus rule Aquarius. Mars is a revolutionary, aggressive and spirited masculine energy, and Pluto enlightens these impulses and adds a rebirthing, cyclical quality. Saturn is a cool, contained energy, and Uranus is about all things different and unusual. Mars is emotional, reacting without thinking things through; such is the nature of Scorpio. Saturn demands of Aquarius much hard work and discipline, while Uranus gives them that forward thinking mind. A gentle Scorpio lover, careful not to tether an Aquarius in too tightly can teach their mate about a life based on emotional intuition, one that quiets the intellect sometimes in favor of physical sensation. Understanding Aquarians can teach their serious Scorpio mates to calm down, to detach themselves from uncontrollable situations and to reevaluate their goals if they get off course.
Scorpio is a Water Sign, and Aquarius is an Air Sign. Air is about the intellect, so Aquarius tackles life as one chance to grow and explore after another, while Scorpio is more analytical. Scorpio looks for purpose, and Aquarius seeks stimulation. These love mates have trouble understanding one another's origin of thought. Confrontations arise is Scorpio's possessiveness gets the better of them or if Aquarius seems too cool and flippant and denies Scorpio emotional reassurance. Both need to learn that they view the world in different ways and they should celebrate and laugh at their differences.
Scorpio and Aquarius are both Fixed Signs. Both can be unyielding, dogmatic and persevering. If they have a plan, they'll stick to it until their efforts are rewarded. Once they have made up their minds that they are good mates for one another, they will never be discouraged from maintaining the relationship. But they may have such contradictory approaches to life that their relationship gets more difficult than it is pleasurable. If they believe in the value of the relationship, they will be able to overcome differences.
What's the best thing about the Scorpio-Aquarius relationship? Their capacity for success in their synergy. Both Signs have very powerful personalities, so neither will openly dominate the other. Once they can appreciate their differences, come together and agree on their individual roles within the relationship, the results can be intensely gratifying.
i'm watching you...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Sunday, November 07, 2004
___________________________________________
Over And Over by Nelly feat. Tim McGraw
uh uh uh
uh uh uh
uh uh
uh uh uh
(Chorus)
'Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I cant keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad
(yeah) Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And i can't take it I cant shake it(NO)
[Nelly]
I can't wait to see you
Wanna see if you still got that look in your eye
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And its a shame that we gotta spend our time being mad About the same things
Over and over again (about the same thing)
Over and over again
Oo but I thinks she leavin
uhh man she's leavin
I dont know wat else to do
(Cant go on not lovin you)
(chorus)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I cant keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad
(yeah) cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
(yeah) and I can't take it
(yeah)and I can't shake it ( no )
[Nelly]
I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was too damn stuborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playin in my head
(Over and over again)
Playin my head (over and over again)
[Nelly]
Oh I thinks shes leavin
Uhh man shes leavin
I dont know wat else to do
(I cant go on not lovin you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad
(yeah) cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it and I cant shake it(no)
[Nelly]
Now that I realize
That I'm goin down
From all this pain you put me through
[Tim McGraw]
Everytime I close my eyes (wuu wuu)
I lock it down
ooooo I can't go on not lovin you
(repeat chorus 3x)
uh uh uh uh (repeat 4x)
Over and over again
Over and over again
Cause it's all in my head
i'm watching you...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Sunday, November 07, 2004
___________________________________________
Quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, you are not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. You are extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and you allow only a special few into your inner world. Like a wary animal, you are cautious and mistrustful of those you do not know until you "sniff them out". You are very, very instinctive and intuitive. You usually have a strong, immediate gut reaction to people, even though you may be unable to clearly articulate why you feel as you do. Your feelings and perceptions go deeper than words
Mental Interests and Abilities
You possess vision and foresight, and your mind is often occupied with big ideas, plans, and goals for the future. You are interested in what is possible and what is on the horizon, rather than what has already been done. The study of philosophy, religion, politics, or education is of interest to you, and you are more concerned with theories and concepts than with specific applications. You are not inclined to focus on any one practical, concrete area; you find it irksome to deal with details and particulars. You have a gambling instinct and enjoy speculative enterprises and new ventures. Business, advertising, and promotion would be good areas for you also.
i'm watching you...
Friday, November 05, 2004
Friday, November 05, 2004
___________________________________________
Too tired to blog. Simpan story for another day lah eh? Right now I need cuddling time dengan Ash. It's cold where I am now. Dah lah hujan si Ash on air cond pulak. Nasib baik aku tak keras kat sini heheh. But it did give me a slight headache.
i'm watching you...
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
___________________________________________
Cool morning today. I was actually lazy siak nak gi keje. I didn't really want to face memberz kat pat keje. I was sure dorang mesti kecohnya.
Ash was sweet. Sang me birthday song 3 times today heheh. But I like the first version...the sleepy version I called it. I did say last time aku tak nak ingatkan dia kan? But I couldn't help asking him if he wanted to say anything to me. Took a while before he remembered. How could I not love you eh baby? There are times when you can be such an ass but there are moments like this when you make me realise the reason why I fall for you so hard.
When I got my butt off to work, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Friends shook my hand, wished me heppi besdey, some even gave me loud smacking kisses on my cheeks several times heheh. No presents because they thought I wouldn't be coming to work. That's ok, I told them...I don't want them. Come Thursday somebody nak belanja aku makan ni. Aku memang suka makan free muekekekeke.
Do you know Yasser Arafat is already 75 years old? He has been around since I was a teenager...and when I was an innocent kid who didn't know anything. He has been arpund for as long as I can remember. He is now recovering in a French military hospital...recovering from leukemia or some other blood disease. I wonder how much longer is he going to be around.
These are some of thoughts while I was out and about. Since I don't have access to computers at my workplace like some of you do, I keyed in my thoughts in my handphone. So some stories are not connected directly to my life. It's just reaction for what I hear or see while at work.
I forgot something. Ash pun kena gegar dengan SP pasal outstanding bill payments. No payment during these 7 days and electricity will be cut off. I told him to pay first using my salary. He said he borrowed from me. Aku marah dia. I told him there is no borrowing of money in our relationship. We are practically husband and wife...cuma tak nikah..and no sex. My money is his money and vice versa. What is money if we are not happy kan?
i'm watching you...
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
___________________________________________
It's my besdey today. 32nd besdey. It's like any other day. Don't make a fuss over it...though it will make my day if you had remembered...like I remembered yours heheh.
Ash seemed to forget and I don't intend to remind him. He will remember...eventually. Friends at work know about it pasal Kak Zah told them. I was a little miffed at that because really it is not a big deal. I don't selebret anyway...not anymore because I don't want to remember my age. Which woman does? For your info I am still 18 eh muekekekeke. A chat friend did wish me last night but she did it just a little bit early because she had to go to work. Thanks!
And oh...what do I want for my besdey? Nothing. No presents, no parties...Just friendship. Am I not an angel? Heheh..Can I ask for world peace?? Macam Miss Universe pulak...
Other news...YEAH! Going to Geylang on the night of Deepavali. I know you say so what? You've been there like a 1000th times but it's not the same when you go during the Ramadan month. I love the noise, the crowd, the smells of food and sweat (which is unavoidable), the festive colours. It takes not much persuasion to convince Ash to go but he said just for window shopping. I am just gonna buy us something nice and cheap to wear. I have always been a low maintenance kind of person (read:cheapskate heheh I am not ashamed to admit that)> I just hope the beautiful but expensive baju kurong tak menggoda aku. Wonder who I am going to meet there. Former school mates? People I love to hate? Relatives? Old boyfriends? Friends? Have to wait and see. Anticipation is so exciting!
Had a nice orgasm the night before yesterday. It started with an innocent body and face massage, ended with satiated lust. I couldn't help feeling regret at the sperm wastage though. Do you know how many kids I could have had? That's why no sex for now. I don't know how fertile I really am.
Apa lagi nak nyenyeh huh? Ehmmm not much. Work I have to go. See ya!
i'm watching you...
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
___________________________________________
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