It's not enough that one of you have to fuck my life up. Why must all of you do that at the same time? Why give me hopes then you fuck me up again and again? What did I ever ask from you? Is it too hard to be just a little bit nicer to a pathetic soul like mine?
All I ever wanted from you is some attention. Why is it you always give me shit? I know you helped me out when I needed it but how come when I need to be saved you are not there?
All those crap about me being friendly, the best bla bla are just that - bullshit. If I was that good how come I always find me myself alone and miserable? Is being cruel and harsh - will that make me more appealing to you? Being all sugary and sickeningly sweet - does that make you want to vomit blood?
It's not enough that you got me wrapped around your little finger. You just have to make me feel depressed too? What is it that you want me to do just so I mean much more to you? Do I have to be dead and buried to be appreciated by the whole lot of you ravenous vultures?
Why couldn't you be appreciative of me being me? Do you think there are other people just like me who can tolerate with your fucking shit all these while? I didn't harrass you...I didn't make a fuss when you abandon me when I need you most so what the hell you want to wring me dry this way?
I wish I could just tell you to get the fucking hell outta my life. It's better to be alone than to have people around you saying they love you but still leave you behind. I want to shake you and yell in your face we are finished...I don't need you...just like you never needed me, the person. You just need me to satisfy your sexual desires, you need me for my listening ear when you need someone to talk, you just need me for what I can give you...but not me the person.
It doesn't matter who you are. Right now I ain't got love for you. I hate you. I am tired of being a bloody obliging fool who come running whenever you snap your fingers. Leave me alone. I don't fucking care how long. You can not call me. I won't die. Even if I do die, what is it to you? I am shit in your eyes. Always will be, always have been.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
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