Aizzzz because of me Ash semalam marah mak dia. I was tired coming home from work. Like always I unlocked the big lock at the gate. Dah tu aku pun bukak pintu but tak tau sapa punya keje...pintu diselak dari dalam. I was starting to call Ash to open up when Camelia opened the door with that guilty look on her face. Aku pun apa lagi...bebel lah. Aku kata dah lah aku balik penat-penat orang kunci pintu dari dalam pulak. I should have just stop there. Did I? Of course not. Aku masuk bilik, aku bebel lagi...this time in Ash's ears who was smiling seeing me enter the room. He went out the room and he asked his mother about the door. He got mad. Though his mother's reason was kinda lame in my ears...dia kata pasal ada orang jual-jual barang ketok pintu...so what? Tak kan lah dorang boleh open up the door kan? Sheeeeeshhh! When I thought he got angry excessively, I told him to quit. It was just a small matter no point making it such a big one. He said who started to make a big issue of it then? I told him I didn't mean for him to scold his mother pe. He made noise about us making trouble knowing he was under pressure these few months.
When he said that, I didn't get angry. I wasn't even feeling hurt. I was sad. I knew what he was feeling. All the stress...the insecurities. I cried, not because of his anger but because of my helplessness not being able to help him out.
His boss had once again forbade him to OT...just because Ash came back last Sunday. I didn't want to hear stories about the shithead because I can't do anything except get angry on Ash's behalf. When he Ash told me yesterday at lunchtime, I wanted to fly to his workplace and fak his boss inside out face to face.He just didn't understand when we need the money now. He thought that just because Ash is having the aftermath effect of stroke, he is incapable in his work. But he has been doing the same workload just like before the stroke. Ash can't quit. Which other place would accpet him in his condition? So at the moment the best solution is to go straight to the manager and talk it over. From what Ash told me the manager seems like a person open to discussions...seems like a sensible man. I hope he talks to his manager today.
Maybe Ash's mother is angry with me. I woke her up this morning but she said Camelia is not going to school. She had a fever semalam. I told his mother...the son wanted to eat fried rice. Selalunya when I said it like that, dia bangun and masakkan...but today...she didn't. I should have apologise to her. It's my fault being such a petty bitch.
My life just went downhill from this point on.
Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
___________________________________________
PROFILE
A N i S
SwEeT 33
FeMaLe...Of CoUrSe
2nd NoVeMbEr
103 YiShUn RiNg Rd #03-99 S(760103)
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