ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

Friday, September 10, 2004

I'm meeting somebody from my past later after work today.

It seemed right to meet her when she asked me to last night on the phone. She needed to talk and I'm willing to lend her my listening ears because I'm such a good friend. But this morning while getting dressed to work, I asked myself what the hell am I'm doing? It's been 4 years, shouldn't I get on with my life? We should have sit down and talked about it 4 years ago and this meeting today is just a little too late isn't it?

And it hurts to know the one person I trusted then was the one who betrayed me. I trusted her with my secret and she went and blabbed it around. Thank God I don't have anything to do with her much now. That was the first inkling of how trustworthy people on the net are. Maklum dulu kan aku was a chat virgin. What do I know? I know so much better now.

I was known to be a hot-headed kind of person then. I am now but I'm mellowed. I am the kind of person who get angry when provoked. That's what I told her. If she had talked to me nicely, I would have listened. But a woman cheated won't be kind. I won't. But people discouraged her from even opening her mouth and so she didn't. I don't know. Maybe people at Tampines Starbucks would have watched a catfight then. Or a drama serial if one or both of us had broken down and cried.

I admit I was feeling guilty then. I couldn't even look her in the eye. It was my first time being the other woman. And it hurt as well. Took me a while to get over it. Maybe I didn't. So what the hell am I doing opening wounds that had long ago heal?

i'm watching you...
Friday, September 10, 2004

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