ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Even after what I have done for you, you still concerned about the well-being of other people. What the fak about me then? Sapa sial yang nak kesiankan aku? Kau gegar aku kat pat keje nangis-nangis then kau pester aku lagi hari ni tanya how how?? How what? Do you think I'm sort of ATM machine to you? Anytime kau nak pakai duit je duit tu secara magic depan mata kau? God, woman bukak lah mata sikit. Kau tau tak aku hari-hari bantai OT just so I could make extra for you?? I am so beladi tired that there are days I can't seem to drag myself off the bed but I did. Because of you. I can't afford to be lazy if I want to make you happy.

It's so damn fakking tiring to work my butt off just so somebody else is well-taken of. What about me then? What about my dream of settling down and having kids of my own? How much longer do I have to put that away dalam lemari aku? Did you ever think about that?

You think only about your needs, your wants. I think about that as well. My needs, my wants ain't in the picture no more. Because of one beladi babi we come to this. Sometimes I hate you. I hate you for not letting me live my own life, I hate you for dragging me down in your miserable life, I hate you for not loving me. Why you think I left home? I hate the bleakness, I hate the life I had with you, I hate everything that have anything to do with you.

I was even willing to other another job because of you but my body forbids it. I don't want to die before my time. Did you ever look at me in pity, knowing how much sadness I have inside of me? I tried not to show it to you or anybody else but sometimes keeping a cheerful is so hard work. I usually laugh it off...my misery...Why should I show my long face to friends or you? I don't want to put everybody in a lousy mood.

You put me in one hell of a mood. Thank God for Ash. He told me to go home and rest my mind. He knows how much these kinds of things stresses me out. Yeah him...the guy you told me to blow off. He never knew that you told me to dump him. He has never been a burden to me. He's my haven, unlike you. I hate you mother, so much right now.

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, September 22, 2004

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