ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

Monday, August 02, 2004

I had a depressing day today. The worst Monday blues ever. It all started when I smsed Ash telling him how depressed I was feeling. He told me he felt worst because he was denied doing overtime by his boss ( yeah, the same fucker yang aku gegar that day). Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was PMS. I don't know why but that news got me overly emotional and all teary. My leader asked me while patting my back, whether I was ok or not. It's not everyday she saw me fall apart like that. I told Ash to talk with his manager. I think that is the only way to change the situation. I even got thinking about quitting my job when I really like my current job and I love my colleagues. I did thought about getting a part time job but knowing me, I'll procrastinate until the very last desperate minute

Then another bombshell dropped on me. Dah lah jatuh dari tangga, aku kena hempap pulak dengan the beladi ladder. Mak called but I was too busy to pick up her call. (By the way her phone service got suspended. I refused to pay because she insisted on making those overseas calls.) I heard her message. I actually believe I heard her say uncle passed away. Choy choy choy!!! Touch wood siak. Nasib baik aku gi dengar one more time just to be sure. She said the power supply got cut off. See how messed up I was feeling by then? I can't work...I can't tease my friends...I was so listless I feel like I was already dead

Luckily mom called me again to reassure me everything was A ok. It was just a temporary disruption to make way for repairs

Ash and me got talking about insurance and stuff. He was sweet. He asked me to kill him for the insurance money and once I got it, share the cash with his mother. But when I told him to kill me, he said he won't do that. I know it's like so morbid talking about killing the one you love just for the money...but it's a kind of morbid sweet isn't it?

Maybe it's the PMS that made me so sensitive and emotional. It must be that. I don't flirt as much as I used to do just a few weeks back. The past week saw me say no several times...with no regrets.

i'm watching you...
Monday, August 02, 2004

___________________________________________