You told me this morning we are going down to the shops. I thought it would be just the two of us. I thought wrong. It's always and often would be your family first before me. Am I being selfish? Of course I am...I can hear you say that. Haven't I got the right to be? Through all the flirtations I have had with other men, I always love you. I still do even when I was so angry with you I could kill you. I would do almost anything for you...I left my parents because of you...And all I ever wanted was for you to love me before you love anyone else.
My friends at work said I should return home so as to make you miss me. I am the one who can't leave you. I will be the one who miss you...the one who can't sleep at nights...the one going crazy. Never you. I am the emotional one...while you...you are the one which all the logic. Sometimes when love is concerned, you got to follow your heart and not your mind.
Sure you told me everyday you love me...but do you really mean it? Or are you saying that to please me? Or lie to yourself? When was the last time you hold me in your arms while I slept? When was the last time you kiss me good morning when you wake up? When was the last time you quit talking crap and look me with love in your eyes? When did you turn out to be so like my ex husband?
Because of soccer, my marriage started to crack. He was so obsessed with it he turned our home into a Manchester United museum. Even if you are not such a fanatic, you are almost as bad as he is. If you were given a choice - (a)to watch a soccer match on tv or (b) to spend time with me - you would have chosen (a).
We might as well not get married. I want to have your babies but I don't want you as my husband. It's hurt talking...Right now, I wish I was dead. Makes everybody's lives easier without me as excess baggage.
Sunday, May 09, 2004
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SwEeT 33
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