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Saturday, March 06, 2004

I saw our youngest aunt's second son this morning. Me going to work, he going to school. When I laid my eyes on him, he reminded me so much of you. I stopped thinking of you long ago and today...

I thought about you coming home. I thought about how much I miss you. I didn't realise that until today. And you know what? I'm willing to forgive and forget whatever misery and heartaches you caused, the tears we shed for you, the pain of knowing you won't come back...if you just come back home. Sure I said some nasty things about you. I was angry and you know how I am when I get angry. I'm sorry for blabbing about you in here but I got no choice. It was either I blab or I go crazy.

I don't even know where you are exactly. Whether you married, whether you have kids of your own, whether you ok, in good health. How I wish everything was the way it used to be. When you were still mine, when we still talked and joked and laughed. I don't care who you choose to be your partner as long as you are happy, I'm fine with that. Don't care about what she said. She's mean when she thought she had to share you with somebody else. Remember how it was when I was with that bastard. She gave me hell, she even disowned me for a while.

All this while, I always looked up to you. You may be younger than me but your mind is much more matured than mine. Without you, I had to grow up...fast. Did you ever thought about us? About how we survive without you? She's still thinking about you, no matter what her tongue said...she misses you bad.

If I could turn back the time, I would. I would bring us all back to the time when we were all so happy as a family. Will you ever come back to me, brother?

i'm watching you...
Saturday, March 06, 2004

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