The thing is I don't mind if you spend some time with your friends. Boys will be boys no matter how old they are. But it hurts that when I was the one doing the asking, you always have some excuses not to go out with me padahal dekat je. But when it's your friends, you are up and about immediately. And did you notice that you never ask my permission to go. This time round you asked me whether I want to go or not. Aku...aku tanya " boleh tak i go here here here?" I don't feel right if you don't say ok...or when u say ok but your face says differently. And the one thing that pisses me off...you never call. It's as if I'm outta your sight and outta your mind.
3 consecutive days you made me cry. You don't even bother to ask why. I don't think you even know I cried. But I tell you today I cried the longest and the most bitter tears of all. I'm fed up with you. I really am. I love you. Nothing change that but I'm fed up with you. I'm fed up with your insensitive behaviour, with your stubbornness, with your indifferent attitude towards me. I am not your whore to satisfy your sexual aoppetites. I am not your maid to serve you food, to iron your clothers, to be at your beck and call. I am your fiancee. I am supposed to be your wife. Respect me as such. Don't be like the maderfakker I married 7 years ago.
I can't yell at you. I can't tell you anything. You would never listen. So what I can do is give you the silent treatment. You would love that for a change won't you? I have been yakking your ears off since day 1 and so I'm keeping silence for as long as I can. Don't think I can't. I can be mute when I want to. Usually you don't listen to what I say anyway. I might as well save my energy.
Not much love for you today. Thank God you are working tomorrow. You don't even bother to call to ask whether I eat or not. You enjoy yourself there huh? That's ok. I won't eat tonight. I won't talk to you. I won't look at you. For a moment I want to forget I have you.
Saturday, March 27, 2004
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