ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Baru nak letak buntut kat kosi at Marsiling after grocery-shopping for 2 houses when Ash received a call from his neighbour : "your house on fire!"

No we didn't faint but still it was such a suprise. Apparently his mother forgot to turn off the kitchen stove when she left the house. Not much damage. Actually very minimal damage. The stove is not working now. Nak kena panggil the professional check on it besok. Duit lagi. Adehhhhhhhh

Kesian mak dia tripped and fell tadi. She was rushing to get a cab sampai terjatuh-jatuh. Ash's fault pasal gi gegar mak dia. Dah bengkak and lebam kaki orang tu. Trolley pasar jahanam. One wheel missing

Anyway by the time kita sume sampai kat bawah blok in the cab, I saw

with a few handsome

Wrong time wrong place. Kalau tak boleh aku main mata jap

My least favourite time of the month is here. My payday. I could almost hate it. I think I do. Keje macam nak mampos duit masih tak cukup. Maybe I should really think seriously about staying at my parents' place

Again. Maybe I should find a part time job that I like.. that could give me extra cash. Or maybe I really really should have that long overdue chat with my mother about her bills. They are eating me inside out siak. After distributing what amount of money go where, pala sakit.

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, March 31, 2004

___________________________________________

Monday, March 29, 2004

I am such a crybaby today

Every little thing that was said to me made me cry. Been crying since early afternoon till late evening. I was feeling unfairly treated, neglected...all those kinds of feelings lah. Ash didn't make it any easier. Tak pujuk aku sampai lah masa dia nak badok. Bangau nyer laki.

Macam malas nak face tomorrow. Pasal hari ni aku ponteng besok mak no. 2 aku sure au-au. Tadi dah call and made so much fuss. She said I didn't inform her padahal pagi-pagi aku dah sms dia. I let her rant and rave on th ephone by herself. I put the phone on the bed for few minutes and then I asked her " dah abis?" Dia kata.."siak je aku bual sorang". So aku jawap lah aku penat..dia lagi nak au-au. Dah bagus tu aku tak maki. She made the conversation short, thank God. One of these days I am going to tell her off. Definitely. One of these days.

i'm watching you...
Monday, March 29, 2004

___________________________________________

You were the one yelling at me

and then you behaved as if you are the injured party. You can be such an asshole.

I think this week is not a good week for us. I find you to be such a disappointment...and you find me to be a pain in your butt.

Let's give give each other the silent treatment why don't we?

i'm watching you...
Monday, March 29, 2004

___________________________________________

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Everybody is pregnant

and I'm not. Aku jelessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!! Tapi apa nak buat marriage is not on the agenda for now. Kak Nana is pregnant for 2 months plus and Siti for 3. Aku pun nak ngandong jugak

How the fak am I supposed to get pregnant when I'm scared of the pain of being poked? Tak pedulik lah aku nak ngandongggggggggg

i'm watching you...
Sunday, March 28, 2004

___________________________________________

Saturday, March 27, 2004

How serious were you when you ask me to go? You know perfectly well I don't know how to mingle in groups of people that are practically strangers. It makes me uncomfortable and terribly alone. You would be too busy talking to your friends to even look at me. I know you that well. It would not be the first time you treat me like that.

The thing is I don't mind if you spend some time with your friends. Boys will be boys no matter how old they are. But it hurts that when I was the one doing the asking, you always have some excuses not to go out with me padahal dekat je. But when it's your friends, you are up and about immediately. And did you notice that you never ask my permission to go. This time round you asked me whether I want to go or not. Aku...aku tanya " boleh tak i go here here here?" I don't feel right if you don't say ok...or when u say ok but your face says differently. And the one thing that pisses me off...you never call. It's as if I'm outta your sight and outta your mind.

3 consecutive days you made me cry. You don't even bother to ask why. I don't think you even know I cried. But I tell you today I cried the longest and the most bitter tears of all. I'm fed up with you. I really am. I love you. Nothing change that but I'm fed up with you. I'm fed up with your insensitive behaviour, with your stubbornness, with your indifferent attitude towards me. I am not your whore to satisfy your sexual aoppetites. I am not your maid to serve you food, to iron your clothers, to be at your beck and call. I am your fiancee. I am supposed to be your wife. Respect me as such. Don't be like the maderfakker I married 7 years ago.

I can't yell at you. I can't tell you anything. You would never listen. So what I can do is give you the silent treatment. You would love that for a change won't you? I have been yakking your ears off since day 1 and so I'm keeping silence for as long as I can. Don't think I can't. I can be mute when I want to. Usually you don't listen to what I say anyway. I might as well save my energy.

Not much love for you today. Thank God you are working tomorrow. You don't even bother to call to ask whether I eat or not. You enjoy yourself there huh? That's ok. I won't eat tonight. I won't talk to you. I won't look at you. For a moment I want to forget I have you.

i'm watching you...
Saturday, March 27, 2004

___________________________________________

Thursday, March 25, 2004

I used to love sleeping with you but I HATE that now. I might as well as sleep with your mother or outside in the hall. It won't make a difference to you

A message to you I wrote on a memo this morning. I was angry with you. And very very hurt. I was going to say out some harsh words in here just now but I could not get to the pc fast enough.

I want to blame my emotional outburst on my impending period but I can't. Maybe I am in one of my PMS moods but really you do take me for granted.

I lied when I said all of my boyfriends were like you - do all the chasing and once got me in their snare took me for granted. Every one of my x boyfriends did that except one. He was so totally devoted to me. And when I dumped him he went crazy for a while. There are times when I thought of him. I dumped him because I don't think he was firm enough to handle me. Besides he wasn't as stable as you. I couldn't live on love alone no matter what I said and so I had to let go.

If you could be just a teeny weey bit more attentive to me, I won't have to throw tantrums. I won't have to give you angry glances all the time. There are times when I have absolutely no doubt you love me but most of the times it's as if you forgot all about me.

Bitch bitch bitch. Selalu sangat ngumpat pasal you until I got nothing left to ngumpat. It is so easy to keep me in line. Just shower me with love and pamper me with your attentiveness...I'll be all yours. Then I can quit with these flirting sessions online.

i'm watching you...
Thursday, March 25, 2004

___________________________________________

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

I have been away to hide in embarrassment and I'm sorry. But at least I asked you instead of assuming the worst of you. Really am sorry for disrupting your life there that time

Tengah tengok American Idol. I saw a clip of Simon kissing Paula

Are they or are they not having a relationship? Jeng jeng jeng. I'm rooting for Fantasia, Jon Peter the pen salesman and La Toya. Jon Peter is so A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E.

I am still hungry. Not much but still a bit. Pepek macam nak bleeding pulak. Dah tak boleh kena finger fuck eh

By the way I was thinking of going to Tanjong Katong Complex this Saturday. Ada competition karaoke lagu-lagu rock lama organised by Ria. Anyone planning to go tak? Nak go sama-sama?

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, March 24, 2004

___________________________________________

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Hujan lebat sekejap tadi. Waiting for Ash's mother to be home. I don't know exactly when she will be back. Had a cooking session with Ash. As much as I love him, he is not the best person to work with. Stubborn macam batu lesung. Whatever I tell him all fell to deaf ears.

I am having a blocked nose problem and a slight fever. And I'm eating non stop whatever I can find in the kitchen and still hungry

Maybe I should go downstairs and buy doughnuts - lots of them. Very lembut very nice to eat.

i'm watching you...
Sunday, March 21, 2004

___________________________________________

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Deep Purple, the best rock band in the world, is coming to town

on the 10th of April. Macam nak pegi but tickets at $61 each. After 31st March it will cost a dollar more. Kalau ada orang yang nak bayarkan tiket aku kan besh. Any takers? Alo? Diam pulak eh korang

i'm watching you...
Saturday, March 20, 2004

___________________________________________

Talk about shooting first without asking. After I moan and groan then only then we talk. What a perfect timing! Could not be better

I can't retract my statement. So I let it be so you know. I'm sorry you got stuck with me.

i'm watching you...
Saturday, March 20, 2004

___________________________________________

You pissed off at me? Maybe. I don't know. I won't know if you won't talk about it can I? Yeah I know I owe you something. And yes I will settle that as soon as possible. I never forget my debts. For that matter I don't forget debts other people owe me either. Once it is settled, I guess I'll be moving out of your life huh? Aku tak nak hegeh-hegeh lah. I already think I did that when I messaged you tadi. I am the kind of person who forgive and forget faults of people I care about. And I regret to say...you are one of those people.

I wish we turn out differently but nothing remains unchanged for long. I thought I was being friendly. Your lack of enthusiasm shows. Or maybe it was indifference? Who the hell knows? I don't. Sebab tu I rather be honest than playing games. Once you read this, you know who you are. That is not much to hide here. Even if there is, I got that other blog to blast out my feelings. Maybe you know...maybe you don't. I am not going to tell you.

Anyway it was nice knowing you. It wasn't as intense like the previous one but still this friendship I treasured because you know for a fact I ain't got that many people I called friends. Whenever you need me, I'll be here. I always am. Most of the time. I don't see this as goodbye. I see this as a vacation for the both of us...a well-deserved vaction from each other. See you around friend

i'm watching you...
Saturday, March 20, 2004

___________________________________________

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

At work, my leader told kak Zah she saw a ghost at the washing area

I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth because we always bedek-bedek one another but it seemed betul lah. Dia selalu masuk cleanroom dulu. Maklum leader kan...got to show good example. She said she saw this figure up above looking down...tak tau lah tengok dia ke...tengok lantai ke...but still scary sial. Aku rasa kalau aku lah yang nampak, guarantee aku terpekik sawan. Dah lah semalam tengok citer Incredible Tales on 5. Quite good lah the program..at scaring you and making you paranoid. Tak payah citer lah eh but next week's episode is so frightening because Ash said it is true.

Getting back to the ghost at work, is it possible boleh nampak hantu pagi-pagi buta? Aku cakap dengan kak Zah agaknya hantu tu terlambat balik sebab tu leader saw it. Yeah making it a joke about that. Definitely malam ni aku tido tutup muka dengan bantal sampai pagi.

Cakap pasal kak Zah..she really eh made my blood boil lah. Tomorrow I'm taking leave ikut Ash go to CDC for his appointment. Asking for assistance for payment of the house. She was trying to make me feel guilty by saying that dia dah pesan Madam Chng beli 4 bungkus nasi lemak. Mak koooooooooooooooooooo dia punya appetite. Gelojoh sial. I didn't even ask her to order for me anything. Just because Ash's mother gone to Melaka, we end upstarving kan? Banyak barang makan pe kat Woodlands mrt kat Jurong Point. Aku nak makikan je. Pak kal lah dia tu tua kalau tak dah kena seranah dengan aku. She behaves like my mother. Oh no!!! Dah cukup lah aku got stuck with that kind of mother. Ni ada lagi sekor yang nak take over mak aku punya tempat pulak.

Ash kata " banyak hari ni you taip ma?" As if you read

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, March 17, 2004

___________________________________________

Monday, March 15, 2004

They are back with the black sheep. Aiyahhhh nothing so happening lah. The woman was being dramatic...overly so. I saw the husband and he is just fine. Not drunk and definitely not high on drugs. When Ash told me what had happened, it was so anti climax. Aku ingat ada adegan tumbuk-menumbuk kat kedai kopi

Tarak punnnnnnnnnnnnnn. What a letdown!

i'm watching you...
Monday, March 15, 2004

___________________________________________

You know how it was when people just for a moment conveniently forget about their responsibility. I know of some people who do. Forget that they have wives and husbands, kids, bills to pay...just so they could indulge in their weaknesses. Who can youi blame? Themselves? The people who directly or indirectly influence them? I would say both but...I would blame the persons themselves more. Because it is their choice to make ultimately and no one else.

Ash's mother got a call from her daughter-in-law in YCK. Her husband, Ash's younger brother most probably took some form of tablet. She was in tears because it seemed her husband didn't recognise her, his own wife. She told Ash's mother his friend had called him out earlier and threatened that if he didn't come down, the friend would come up. Macam kelakar gitu if the brother ikut kata orang. He seemed the kind of person who don't take crap from nobody. Ash and his mother are on the way there to persuade him to come back home and I'm home alone.

Moments like this, I thank God I got the most responsible brother out of the three of them. The eldest prefers to be unemployed and depends on his wife totally for his daily supply of cigarettes. The younger brother is unemployed and has a strong love for Guiness Stout. Ash...yeah he may be stubborn, frequently behaves like an ass and often talks crap but at least he knows what he have to do to support his family. He rather be without than seeing his dependants in need of anything. I told him tadi I am so lucky to have got him in my life. Imagine lah eh kalau aku stuck with the other brothers. Aku rasa kan by this time aku dah jadi tengkorak hidup siak makan hati berulam jantung

Thank you papa for choosing me

i'm watching you...
Monday, March 15, 2004

___________________________________________

Friday, March 12, 2004

Something to look forward to on Sunday night. Finger fuck

I know it's like so lame but I can't be poked yet...so finger fuck pun finger fuck lah. Bersyukur dengan apa yang aku dapat.

i'm watching you...
Friday, March 12, 2004

___________________________________________

Thursday, March 11, 2004

I was going through Wreck's blog and I forgot to relate about how my jeans got upzipped yesterday. I was and still am pretty sure I zipped it at home. God knows bila lah zip sial ni took the chance of unzipping itself. I think kan pasal I sat down in the feeder bus from home to interchange. I always make it a habit to check my zip after getting up from my seat. Ntah kenapa semalam aku tak buat. I did thought of doing that bila sampai kat Jurong East tapi memang dah nasib eh, I didn't do it then. I only realised pintu seluar aku terbukak masa on my way queuing up for 193. Alahaiiii how to cover up? Beg pink aku tak cukup panjang nak gi tutup. So I let the bus go dah buat muka selamba zip je seluar. Orang nampak ke tak aku tak tau. Orang kalau nampak pun nak buat apa kan? I wasn't wearing a sexy panty anyway. Buat malu kampeni je

I'm wondering whether my body was taken over by an alien

I spent most of my working hours listening to RIA sial. And enjoying it too. That is so...weird. Malay songs used to give me headaches but today no sakit pala pulak. I love those classic songs of the 80s and 90s. Dengar lagu Deep Purple " Smoke On the Water". Wahhhh dia punya intro buat aku headbang jap. Gerek seyyyyy!!!! Terdengar lagu "Belaian Jiwa" by the original artist, Jay jay from Carefree. I like both the original version and the cover by Innuendo. Aku ni betul budak old skool siak - suka nah dengan lagu lama-lama. I think lagu lama-lama ni power gedegak. Oh by the way aku sempat dengar lagu "Madu Tiga" yang arwah P.Ramlee nyanyi in his movie by the same name - the rock version. Fuhhhhh power dok. Macam nak tercabut pala aku tadi headbanging all the way

Rock really betul-betul never dies. It never could.

Lagu ni tak rock tapi aku suka jugak. Lagu minah brutal step jiwang kental tak karat-karat.

Asmara Ini by Fazley

Asmara ini yang hanyutkan kita
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan aku
Biar seribu kali kuucapkan
Takkan goyah
Oh kebenaran

Tiada kuduga tiada kupinta
Semuanya berlalu sebegitu saja
Dan kini ku disiksa dalam api ini
Sungguh aku telah mengerti

( 1 )
Takkan kuberlari salahkan sesuatu
Agar tak dihantui oh dosa-dosaku
Dan sememangnya mudah untuk kulepaskan
Seandainya kukatakan...

( korus 1 )
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan kita
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan aku
Biar seribu kali kuucapkan
Takkan goyah
Oh kebenaran

( korus 2 )
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan kita
Asmara ini yang hanyutkan aku
Walaupun seabad kupertahankan
Takkan goyah
Oh kebenaran

Inilah balasan untuk yang bersalah
Pedihnya kurasakan dan hanya berserah
Cukup dengan sekali aku mengotori
Cinta kita hancur sudah
Hancur kini

( ulang 1, korus1, korus2 )

i'm watching you...
Thursday, March 11, 2004

___________________________________________

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Ash was hogging the computer last night so no entry. He made it up by making out with me. Maklum air dia dah sampai tahap pala oiiiii so have to cucikan plug dia jap

And as always he blamed me for seducing him when it was him who grabbed my hands and put them on his dick

Nothing much happening today. It is just so weird that today I kept on tuning in to RIA 89.7 FM. I'm not really into Malay radio stations but at least this one plays all kinds of music including Hindi, Thai, Spanish etc etc.

And oh yeah I am definitely so in love

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, March 10, 2004

___________________________________________

Monday, March 08, 2004

Great weather for cuddling all night long.

Today is international women's day so gurls...happy women's day.

Independent Women by Destiny's Child

Lucy Liu... with my girl, Drew... Cameron D. and Destiny
Charlie's Angels, Come on
Uh uh uh

Question: Tell me what you think about me
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
Only ring your cell-y when I'm feelin lonely
When it's all over please get up and leave
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships

The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've bought it
The car I'm driving
I've bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that

Tell me how you feel about this
Who would I want if I would wanna live
I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
Ladies, it ain't easy bein' independent
Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I brought
Braggin' on that cash that he gave you is to front
If you're gonna brag make sure it's your money you flaunt
Depend on noone else to give you what you want

The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've bought it
The car I'm driving
I've bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that

Destiny's Child
Wassup?
You in the house?
Sure 'nuff
We'll break these people off Angel style

Child of Destiny
Independent beauty
Noone else can scare me
Charlie's Angels

Woah
All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
(repeat until fade)

i'm watching you...
Monday, March 08, 2004

___________________________________________

Sunday, March 07, 2004

I think I should go to the doc and ask her for headaches pills. I keep having this headaches on my left side of the temple on and off. Nak kata aku manyak pikiran..not really. I got this fakking headache tadi during Ash hand service session.

Not much to blog about today. Went to the library with Camelia, a book for her, 7 for me. She can't have more because tomorrow she got her Maths exams...and she's going to Melaka for few days with her grandmother. The house will be just a liitle bit quiet without her.

Lalalalala macam boring gitu. Gentel buah Ash jap lah

i'm watching you...
Sunday, March 07, 2004

___________________________________________

Saturday, March 06, 2004

I saw our youngest aunt's second son this morning. Me going to work, he going to school. When I laid my eyes on him, he reminded me so much of you. I stopped thinking of you long ago and today...

I thought about you coming home. I thought about how much I miss you. I didn't realise that until today. And you know what? I'm willing to forgive and forget whatever misery and heartaches you caused, the tears we shed for you, the pain of knowing you won't come back...if you just come back home. Sure I said some nasty things about you. I was angry and you know how I am when I get angry. I'm sorry for blabbing about you in here but I got no choice. It was either I blab or I go crazy.

I don't even know where you are exactly. Whether you married, whether you have kids of your own, whether you ok, in good health. How I wish everything was the way it used to be. When you were still mine, when we still talked and joked and laughed. I don't care who you choose to be your partner as long as you are happy, I'm fine with that. Don't care about what she said. She's mean when she thought she had to share you with somebody else. Remember how it was when I was with that bastard. She gave me hell, she even disowned me for a while.

All this while, I always looked up to you. You may be younger than me but your mind is much more matured than mine. Without you, I had to grow up...fast. Did you ever thought about us? About how we survive without you? She's still thinking about you, no matter what her tongue said...she misses you bad.

If I could turn back the time, I would. I would bring us all back to the time when we were all so happy as a family. Will you ever come back to me, brother?

i'm watching you...
Saturday, March 06, 2004

___________________________________________

Thursday, March 04, 2004

My mother is such an ass. I'm sorry to have to say that but it's the truth. Dia suruh aku belikan cat litter. The pet shop only caters to delivery $60 or more so aku order sekali cat food. They usually send the next day between 2-6 pm. So anyway the delivery man called me up. He said he called my mom's place and knocked on the door but nobody replied. So he asked me was it ok if he left the stuff at the door and I said ok and phoned mak immediately. Dia pulak tak angkat. Called her several times still no reply. Then this morning dia called tanya whether I called her last night. I told her to go and see whether barang tu ada kat luar ke tak and she said no. Alamakkkkk susah datang siak. Ntah mana nyer bangla dah gi angkut...most probably thinking it was trash.

$64.80 gone...kaput...just like that. I can't make a second order because I don't have the beladi cash. That was my hard-earned money. Keje macam nak mampos...OT lagi...sakit sial hati. Aku bising lah dengan mak. Dia yang suruh aku beli dah tu dia kata she slept from 5:30 petang semalam. I just don't believe she slept until this morning. That is not her. Even if dia tido at that time, she will be up and watching tv by at least 11 pm.

the other bone that I want to pick with her is about her phone bills. She kept calling her god sister in Seremban..like every day. This month punya bill je dah sampai $162. Wasted sial. That money dari aku gi kasi Singtel kan bagus kalau aku kasi dia. Aku cakap dengan dia jangan call selalu. Tulis surat sudah. She just doesn't understand that I can't afford to jaga dia with her attitude like this. Nanti aku bingit-bingit aku tepon Singtel suruh suspend the service. Baru padan muka. Maybe I should do that tapi kalau apa-apa happens to her kat umah how is she going to call for help? Another alternative is to block her outgoing calls. Biar orang je tepon dia. Anyone knows anything about that? Please tag me or e mail me.

Dah lah aku bingit si Camelia pulak buat hal. Aku dengan nenek dia tengah bercerita, dia sebok nak nyampok. Aku suruh dia go and get ready for school pasal nenek dia baru told me semalam dia lambat pasal hengeh-hengeh. And you know what she did? When I told her to go, dia gi hempas pintu. Lermekkkkk I tell you my blood terus go "ZING!!!" upstairs to my brain. Nenek dia nak bela dia...said maybe she accidentally closed the door too loud. Aku tak puas hati aku gi tanya tu anak "ko hempas pintu eh?" She shook her head, looking at me silently. When she did that, I know she purposely banged the door. Aku cakap dengan dia..."aku bukan nenek ko eh..jangan nak kurang ajar dengan aku...aku lempang muka ko nanti". Kalau dia tu my own flesh and blood...memang dah kena punya. 100% guarantee.

I asked Ash..is it ok for me to lempang Camelia. Dia kata tak mo lempang, just pinch. I told him I won't lempang kat muka. Aku taplek mana tempat yang aku rasa dekat dengan aku. Mak aku dulu pesan kalau nak pukul anak jangan kat telinga..stay away from the face preferably. Pukul kat kaki...buntut..that's ok. Aku ngadu lah dengan Ash. I won't say Ash ni bela aku ke tak lah eh..but he did go and reprimand dengan Camelia. Belum kena bantai dah nangis dulu tu budak

Ash tanya dia semalam belajar science about what and she can't answer. Aku tak rasa dia belajar pun. Kalau bukak buku pun depan tv. Study apa tu siak?

Honestly speaking, Camelia tu needs a good thrashing sebab selama ni dia tak makan saman. Dia takut dengan Ash tapi dengan nenek dia...adehhhh betul nyer kurang ajar. Me for one thing, budak-budak ni nak apa aku boleh kasi...nak pijak pala aku pun boleh tapi satu je...jangan kurang ajar. Aku tak boleh angkat budak kurang ajar. I was brought up with my mother's strict discipline so I guess I am like her in respect to child rearing. Budak hentak-hentak kaki...suka nyampok bila orang tua tengah berbual...talk back..ni sume mintak kena bedal dengan aku. Aku suka dengan budak-budak if dorang respect the elders.

Bila pikir-pikir balik, aku takut nak ada anak. Mana lah tau anak aku macam setan. I hope not. I pray not. Kalau anak aku setan...padan dengan muka aku

i'm watching you...
Thursday, March 04, 2004

___________________________________________

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

I want to blog this one single minor thing but I just can't do it. I don't want to hurt you.

i'm watching you...
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

___________________________________________

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

The blogger you have just clicked is currently not available for your pleasurable reading due to headaches and her troublesome bleeding days. Please try again tomorrow. Thank you.

P.S. The blogger wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused.

i'm watching you...
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

___________________________________________

Monday, March 01, 2004

Headache headache. Pikiran about the house bills. Another bout of cold in my head. Don't mind the hingus sniffing though. Groceries bought and tomorrow bilss are going to be paid. Once paid otak lega.

Was talking to Ash tadi pasal our wedding preparations. I asked Lis for some quotations..the least costly ones where possible. I already scrapped the idea of hantaran. Must remind Lis my guest list would be more than a 1000 people. Adehhhh The amount of food, the bunga telor, the wedding invitations. I want the total cost of the wedding to be less than $10k. Kalau boleh kurang lagi, lagi bagus. Mana aku nak gi cekau duit? Anyway it's good that we discussed about it. At least I did. Ash diam je. I wasn't thinking to give him pressure but planning for our big day now is exciting just a bit kan? No rush. Tunggu Ash keje shift then we can talk some more.

Special thanks to Lis for taking the time to give me such informative data about wedding costs.

i'm watching you...
Monday, March 01, 2004

___________________________________________