ÂªÃ±Â¡Â§ ÂªÂ§hÂ®Âªff pÂªÂ®t II

Saturday, January 31, 2004

I don't know wheher you doing it purposely or what. You beladi well know I was coming over. Why can't you do something about the mess and smell huh? You can't expect me to be hanging around you all the time kan? I need to lead my own life...I want to lead my own life but you still won't let me. Don't take it for granted that I'll always be around lah to help you.

I don't know what the fak you are doing at home all this time. Tak kan dok lengkar tengok tv 24/7? You are a disgrace to me and I am totally embarrassed of you. What would Ash say huh?

There are times when I don't mind him slamming you down but there are times when I defend you. I don't want to quarrel with him over our families. Tadi dah bertekak sket pasal daging. Told him you wanted some and he said to tell you jangan manyak order. I was pissed off because kat umah dia dah memang ada daging on standby. His sista bought for him. So I told him off..."ooo umah ko ada daging...umah aku tak de eh". And he said..."nanti ko stay lah kat umah ko" and that hurts. He practically told me to fuck off. Family is important I know. He puts his in first priority. What about mine then? Should I put mine in the lowest level in my list? You are not being fair papa...

And you plak asking daging sampai 4 kilo. For what so much? You said nak simpan. You never think eh. I'm not printing money at Woodlands tau. I got to pay your beladi monthly bills. Later nak balik ko mesti mintak duit. If I had lots, you won't have to ask. Aku keje macam nak mampos ko tak tau. I'm sick until I can't eat anything pun you don't know. Try lah put yourself in my shoes for once. Try and understand why I can't give you what you want. I can't even give myself what I want.

I'm stuck in dilemma. One the one hand...you...my mother. On the other hand...him...the man I want to marry and have kids with. I can't choose between the two of you because both are important to me.

i'm watching you...
Saturday, January 31, 2004

___________________________________________

Thursday, January 29, 2004

As you can see the beladi tagboard is down...mak dia punya laki lah

I tried to use the haloscan comment box but it doesn't show in the blog. Besar nyer kakak dia punya laki

Anyone ada other URLs for comment boxes tak?

Just

Abis semua yang aku makan tadi keluar. What a waste! Mak Ash masak sup ikan kurau. Aku makan tadi pun tak banyak. I don't think I can eat solid food. My stomach doesn't want all these heavy stuff inside it. Macam gini aku bleh lose weight. Tadi pat klinik I weighed myself. 45 kg. With the rate I'm in..I might weigh less than that. Nasib baik tadi pagi I managed to alas perut dengan epok-epok kentang. I don't like epok-epok kentang sangat but what the hell makan je lah.

Still feeling a bit nauseous. Nak makan ubat takut muntah balik. I'm letting the loyaness kurang sket baru aku makan ubat. Doktor ni pun macam nabey. Kasi aku 1 hari mc je. Dia kata dia tak nak my 14 days' mc finish so fast. As if aku ni sakit slalu eh

i'm watching you...
Thursday, January 29, 2004

___________________________________________

I'm taking mc today. Yesterday I had a painful backache. Aku rasa macam I was being run down by an army of heavy vehicles. Beli koyok cap cili tu...fuhhhh baru hilang sakit. But I'm feeling giddy right now. Yesterday When I was starting my work shift I felt so cold I was shivering. Bila dah pakai sweater, I felt so warm I gave myself a fever. The fever is down now but still I felt giddy and nauseous. Thinking about food make my stomach sick. Feels like

Wat if I got pregnant I told Ash. He said I was talking crap because we didn't even have sex

I asked if I really am, would he marry me. He said of course of course he would. It might make the wedding cheaper...minus the dowry. Very funny eh papa

...but I wish I didn't set that beladi dowry. Aku rasa by this time last year aku dah mengandong...or maybe dah ada anak pun.

i'm watching you...
Thursday, January 29, 2004

___________________________________________

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

without Ash. He's out with his friends. Don't know what time he'll be back. The thing that bugs me is that once he is with his friends he conveniently forgets about me. I understand that sometimes he needs time off away from me...but no phone calls? I'm not going to tell him anything lah. I'll just keep quiet. No point nagging. He won't understand how I feel anyway.

Tadi pegi makan mee soto power gedegak kat Gek Poh. On the way, I remembered I forget to take my hp in the pocket of my jumpsuit

Nasib baik tak jauh sangat. Aku patah balik pat keje and amik lah. Adehhhh penat siak tapi worthwhile pasal dapat jugak makan mee soto panas.

Cannot blog already lah. My mind is not here. Cepat balik lah papa

i'm watching you...
Tuesday, January 27, 2004

___________________________________________

Monday, January 26, 2004

Can't seem to stop blogging siak. Nampak sah sangat aku peberet dengan layout baru aku ni muekekekekekeke. Congrats to me!!!

Tomorrow another new day of work life. Liat siak badan nak pegi keje but work I have to go. I have been stuck at home for the longest time. Asek chat je. I did clean up the mess in the wardrobe. Tu keje Ash lah pasal nak cari baju keje dia.

I think I go and chat some more

i'm watching you...
Monday, January 26, 2004

___________________________________________

I'm at my mother's place. There is nothing to compared to your own mother's cooking. No matter how good other mothers or sisters or whoever cook, your mother's cooking is still the best. I really miss her cooking and I didn't realise just how much until I ate her food. Memang lah mak aku tak masak makanan fensi-fensi. Dia masak sambal sadin je but still the taste...ehmmm...menjilat jari siak aku

muekekekekeke.

Bought her some veggies. Biar dia masak untuk uncle. Honestly speaking I don't trust her that much. I am damn sure kalau aku kasi dia duit, dia mesti beli rokok. Tak pe lah sayur tu berat nak mampos pun tak pe. Asal mak aku tak beli rokok.

Meeting Ash later after he finishes work. Wonder how he is at work

Try calling him but his hp was diverted to mine. Oh well..he's a big boy. Dia tau macam mana nak handle lah eh.

i'm watching you...
Monday, January 26, 2004

___________________________________________

Read this and keep that in your brain. Something I got from a friend's blog.

SCORPIO WOMAN

A simple woman who always show what kind of a moods she is in. You can tell right way if she up set, or if she is flirting with you. She displays herself with her act much more than trying to say it for it's in her character.

A Scorpio woman has her own mysterious personality. She is confident and deep down inside she is quite proud of herself. She hates to think she is borne a woman and so limiting her with a certain social acceptable rules.

She is a real woman and despite her innocent and childish looks, she has a spirit of free soul. Many men will make mistake if they think she is a good follower, they are wrong.

She thinks being a plain simple housewife is boring. She likes to have power and control over other people, but this will be only her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. Every things she does will look good, and she has all the woman's trick you can think of. She can manipulate men without they knowing it.

If you think she going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed. She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking in your eyes. You may say sweet words which could sweep any woman, but not with the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes reading your thought of what you just said or what you are going to say. She always smile and she can really hide her feeling.

She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will even love you more. If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feed back when you around her.

She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confident. She likes to have a good looking , strong and healthy man especially if she start to compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he hold a degree or a good career.

She is a hot lady. She likes heavy music. She either loves or hates, there are no "fond of", or "like" for her. Love has no "may be", or "perhaps".

If she is real mad, she will trash and throw things. Her wind storm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grand mother favorite china for she has good quality as much as her bad tempered.

Sometimes she shows her weakness, but it won't be long. She will put herself together and back to be that hot chili again. If she loves you, it will be no matter what other people may say. Her relationship will be more important than what is right or wrong. Because of this reason, you may know some Scorpio woman become a second wife, a mistress.

She is spoil, but she allows her love one to over power her. Dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house. It could be a love letter 2 years ago, but never mind she will argue about this since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember she has a temper of the shrew.

If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it. If you stood her up once, she will stood you up 2-3 times. She is quite fair in justice, so she can accept your apologies as much as she can pretend to accept things for now and wait for a pay back revenge in the future. If you are nice to hear, she will double that to you as well. A real fair woman.

She likes to make and spent money. She likes to have fame and reputations, and never let herself broke and have no name at the same time. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She loves to have face, so if you are a manager with small salary, she will be proud more than more money being a truck driver. She hates to think and she can not stand a feeling of being a "Nobody".

If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. When you go out on a date, set your schedule, but do not let she knows that you have planned this for weeks. Always go to pick her up on time or better to go 5-10 minutes early.

i'm watching you...
Monday, January 26, 2004

___________________________________________

I feel so fucking angry with almost everybody

...

<1> Mak - she keeps asking me for money as if aku ni tukang cap duit
<2> Ash - he is so beladi stubborn aku macam nak hentak batu lesong kat pala dia. He started smoking even though I have been nagging him about that for the longest time. Kalau aku tau mana punya maderfakker yang oper dia that first batang masa kawan dia datang umah...mati siak tu anak aku maki
<3> Anak mak aku - I wish I was the only child my mother ever had.
<4> 2 friends - satu sebok dengan boipren punya hal, yang lagi satu sebok pasal one of the important events in her life.
<5> Mother-in-law - dia manyak au-au lah. She is the ultimate HBO machine.
<6> Brother- & Sista-in-law - terperap dalam bilik mantat 24/7. Napa tak mampos skali kat dalam sana biar senang sket hidup laki aku tak payah nak tanggong biawak hidup?

I'm sorry but aku rasa there is too much dislike in my heart for you all right now. Nak kata hate...that is too strong a word. I seldom hate people without reason.

Arggghhhh forget that. I'm always a bitch days before my period.

So how about my new layout huh? Too bright? Too simple? Tak mau manyak komplen eh pasal I did this by myself. Harapkan orang buatkan tu hari sampaikan bergasak muekekekekekeke.

You know what...I feel so much better already.

i'm watching you...
Monday, January 26, 2004

___________________________________________